lamps
My heart is simultaneously heavy-laden and expectant. I don’t feel like I can keep up, hold up or show up… Yet a growing drive and excitement fuels ideas and connections. Fruit is coming…
One of the things I love is being able to be a part of and visit different communities and different cultures. For the first time since 2004, after going on and leading and organizing multiple mission trips a year, I have not traveled outside of the country for over a year and a half now. Another thing I love is to be able serve in contexts where I am not in leadership and where I often don’t even know what’s going on… ha! My favorite way to serve in this way for years has been at a conference for college students and I wasn’t able to do that either.
Thankfully I still have been able to have relationships in different circles and different countries! And the band has gratefully still been able to minister with many different churches, denominations and styles and even traveled regionally some.
I just know that the Lord has called me and equipped me to thrive when I can have a more rounded-out perspective on the kingdom of God and see how the Good Shepherd is moving in His people in a broader sense. Seeing how He is moving in His church at large, while remaining rooted and grounded in a local body, enables me to fight more faithfully to keep my eyes open to see the eternal. To keep the real end in mind.
A thought that’s been circling for over a year now is the idea of keeping oil in my lamp…
The oil in the lamps before the Lord in the tabernacle were supposed to be tended continually… even through the night (Lev 24:1-4). If I’m being honest, it kind of feels like the night right now. I don’t want my lamp to go out (Matthew 25:1-13). I don’t want to not keep oil in my lamp. I don’t want to not have an extra, endless supply always at the ready. I don’t want to not prepare well. In this night, I don’t want to fall asleep or be consumed with a brain fog and wake up too late. I want to keep watch. Keep full of oil. But in this night, I know I don’t have what it takes. I have reached the end of myself and wasn’t able to push through on my own.
But I have been found by a source deeper than myself, rushing in, giving me rest, carrying me away, filling, overflowing, bringing fruit when I literally couldn’t have found way. And as I come, I keep finding oil in my lamp.
There’s a wedding coming! The bridegroom is coming back for me, for all who know Him.
And it seems, those who don’t know Him don’t keep oil in their lamps. And those who don’t keep oil in their lamps, don’t know Him. How I long to be continually filled!
One of my “yeses”, when I find myself filled and overflowing, is when the Lord gives me an opportunity to love, serve and learn from the least. To be in different communities and cultures. It helps me see the kingdom of God more fully here and now.
So when my brother asked me if I wanted to go on a mission trip to serve a community of refugees just down the road outside of Atlanta, it was an easy yes. It was kind of a last minute invite. And I’m sharing about it even more last minute. I leave this Saturday, June 12 for a week!
And I don’t really know what we’ll be doing and I’m not in charge of anything or planning anything and I’m wonderfully excited about it! I get to just go, show up, do what I’m told, serve and love in a community of cultures outside of my own… Multiple things that fill my cup all in one!
Part of the requirement to go is to ask people to pray… and I know I need it! I’ve never felt as empty and full at the same time ever before. Also, I could just write a check for the cost of the trip (which is only $210) but the other thing they asked of us was to let people know about the cost so they could give if they want. I’m learning to let people help and serve me and getting so much better about not just figuring things out on my own. If you’d like to give, just let me know and I can let you know how.
Overall, I desperately need my lamp to be filled, to stay full, to overflow. In this night, I know there is light. The Light. Fueled by the Spirit that is the oil. And I desperately want more people to be ready to come to the wedding! I want to be ready. I want you to be ready.
Let’s stay awake. Let’s keep being filled.
The last verse of “Somehow” by As Isaac speaks directly to the parable of those waiting for the groom to come keeping their lamps lit… (It also speaks of harvest, another theme continually emerging lately…)