human

Sometimes I’m afraid we’re forgetting what it means to be human. That we have inherent worth and dignity simply because we have been made by God, placed in time and space to exist physically. That the people around have something to bring with their presence. That to see and lean in with dignity, honors dignity. That noticing a legitimate need and extending a truly helping hand isn’t interfering. That leaning in doesn’t have to feel confrontational. That we cannot always assume that someone else will do something.

If you are there, why wouldn’t you do something? 

Culture plays a role… and just like Jesus did, there are times we need to honor culture and sometimes we need to go against the flow. Personality plays a role… and there are ways we can all lean into health and grow to be able to ensure that we know our worth and are able to honor the dignity of others while still honoring our own.

I know this might sound vague and obscure so here are a couple of examples…

Just the other day, a sweet older lady in cute little kitten heels was trying to navigate entering a business that only either had an uneven grassy hill or a gravel walkway for her to get inside from where she had to park. There were other people around, but I didn’t wait to see her stumble or wait for someone else to do something. I just stepped over, commented on the gorgeous spring day, and said I’d love to offer her an arm to hold while she walked up the path and just held it out. She gladly took it but she didn’t have to. But I also didn’t put her in the position of having to admit her need verbally by asking her if she needed help. I personally can be one of the worst (I’m recovering… ha!) at knowing what to tell people when they ask if they can help me… because I think I might be able to do it myself or I often don’t even know where to even start to give them a particular thing to do. Someone who can see a need and just lean in is so welcome. It’s respectful to care for those around you, especially the elderly and vulnerable.

Even though she has a cane, I just instinctively offer my arm to my grandma when we’re walking and she usually gratefully hangs on… even if it’s just that she enjoys the warmth of connection. But I know her hip pains her and it’s nicer for her to have someone to hold onto. 

Over the years serving with students or taking care of kids, there have been so many times we were doing an activity and they didn’t know how to use the equipment. Now, I’m no athletic champion, but I do know how to do things like lace up skates, snap ski boots into skis, make sure a lifejacket is on properly and tight enough, etc. My first reaction when kids don’t have things on right can be an equal blend of thinking it’s hilarious and horrifying. But I’m not going to just do nothing. And even if they refuse help, if it’s unsafe I’m going to gently but firmly persist for their safety, comfort and dignity. It doesn’t have to be a big deal. It doesn’t have to be confrontational. We all have to learn things. We all need people to show us things. If you see someone struggling, even if they don’t know it or don’t want to admit it and especially if it could be unsafe, I really believe the more dignifying path is to just kindly come alongside and acknowledge the discomfort and offer the way things work. In a way that doesn’t shame, in a way that gives them agency and voice still.

This however does not mean that just because there is a need, you have to meet it or try to meet all of it! There are times someone else is already taking care of things. There are times I am not equipped to be able to help in a situation, but I can refer to someone who is. And there are times when someone just doesn’t actually want help and you can’t force it.

If we see a need and it’s in our power to do something and we don’t… If we see someone hurt and left on the street and look the other way, or “cross to the other side of the street”… If we know the good to do, and we do not do it… I just don’t see how it’s dignifying to another or ourselves to desensitize ourselves or just not notice. 

And I can’t promise you this, but I can speak from my own experience that your seeing and dignifying presence can welcome and invite the same from others. It can be contagious. And you can receive just as much as you give.

It’s a risk, but I think it’s a risk worth taking.

Let’s be human. And treat others as human. With dignity all around.

Now, don’t go hearing what I’m not saying… I’m not advocating for actually unsafe or improper interactions or codependent relationships. And I’m not advocating for never letting people figure things out for themselves or having the joy of discovery. And I’m not saying we all need to “fix” everything for everyone around us. I’m saying, let’s do things like risk asking the parent with three kids in the grocery store parking lot if we can take their shopping cart back up to the store for them. Let’s not assume someone else will help when there is clearly a need and we can meet it. Let’s open our eyes. Let’s see the people around us.