bad

Dear friend, I really do believe you cannot be a bad at any role in your life if you are abiding in your belovedness first as a child of God. And that if you are being either a good daughter, a good sister, a good friend, a good mother, a good boss, a good employee (or any other role in your life!), it does not require you to be bad at the others. 

We all have things that come more naturally to us or things we’ve worked more on. But I really just don’t believe that God will lead us in a way that is bad for someone else. It’s not His nature to spite one of His children to help another. There will be hardships, sufferings, difficulties and just plain tricky things to navigate. There will be ruptures in relationship that do not always end in reconciliation. There will be times we legitimately feel put in a bind, where there is no seemingly good way forward. But His heart is good towards us, always. He is a good Father who only does good and can use all things for our good. 

I singularly reject the whole line of thinking that we can “cheat” one area of life to help another. It’s not cheating, because we weren’t meant to be everything to everyone all the time. Jesus is their Jesus, not us. God is the only infinite, all-present, all-powerful, all-knowing One… not me. And if I am genuinely seeking the Lord and walking in growing wholeness and healing, but I feel like I’m constantly letting people down, I’m likely still trying to do too much or still trying to please people. 

Others may be disappointed in us. They may have expectations of us, whether stated or not, that we do not meet. But this simply cannot define if we are “good” at these roles or not. Making everyone around us happy cannot define if we are being “good” at our role in their life. Agreeing with everyone around us cannot define if we are “good” at that relationship. Being reconciled with everyone around us cannot define if we are “good” at the role that relationship is a part of.

If our roles don’t singularly define us but are rather an overflow of our deeper identity… Then it seems my integration as a whole person in every space I enter, every relationship I engage, every context I encounter, is one of the most life-giving options available. And this doesn’t mean that I give all of me to everyone all the time. But it does mean, I’m not at war within myself. There’s not a competition for my energy. 

So when I feel like I’m in a bind, how can I take a step back and settle into my belovedness first as a child of God who has His lovingkindness securely holding me? When I feel torn, how can I remember that He really is my Good Shepherd, that I know His voice, and He’ll show me the way to walk? 

I truly believe that the best thing for all of the people we love and the roles we fulfill, is to walk in wholeness, healing and freedom in increasing measure.