to the seniors, but myself first

A few nights ago, I had the honor of addressing the seniors graduating from being home educated who took classes at Hilger Higher Learning. It's humbling to speak to a group of families who have invested so much in their students' education. Here are the scattered thoughts I shared, pulled in part from a few blogs I wrote over here for As Isaac (my brother's band).Each new season of life is an invitation. An opportunity. The unknown continually looms. James 4:14 promises “you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow.” One of the most beautiful films I know (titled “Bella”) opens in a fabulous Spanish accent with the line, “If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans.” Weaving a beautiful story, Christ alone knows the journey our hearts need to grow to know, and therefore trust, His character more fully...and this brings Him the greatest glory.And proclaiming God’s glory isn’t just a pious last resort when the brokenness of this world leaves it’s mark on my heart and mind. Because it will. And it will very deeply sometimes. When the brokenness of this world leaves it’s mark on your heart and mind, it can be easy to frantically look for the glory of God…but defining it flatly as a lesser virtue, because His goodness seems in question. Clinging to hope in His glory, when all else seems questionable. Recently a woman very dear to many hearts died after a long battle with cancer, leaving behind a husband and four young girls. How can a good God let that happen? Can God be glorious yet not-good God? Is such a thing even possible?On the surface I would assert a resounding “No!” but my thought processes and emotions reveal that my fallen weary heart poses the question off and on…sometimes more on.In Exodus 33 when Moses asks to see the glory of God, the LORD (the covenant keeping Mighty God) answers affirmatively. Yet He answers, “I Myself will make all My goodness pass before you, and will proclaim the name of the LORD before you.” (Exodus 33:19) Moses asks for glory. God gives him goodness.God’s goodness is incapable of being disentangled from His glory.When my heart is tempted to doubt His goodness, asking to see His glory is asking to see His goodness. Oh that we would have eyes to see Him as He truly is and not the shadow we construct loosely from what we see now dimly.Let me assure your hearts and minds that He is far more concerned with knowing you and you knowing Him than what you can do for Him. God is not in heaven sitting helplessly needing you to do things for Him. Oh people will...motivated by love most definitely...they’ll pester you continually about what you’re going to do next year...and it matters, matters deeply. But more than that, He desires you. Desires to invite you to be a part of expressing His story of rest for the weary, unconditional love for the broken, freedom for the bound.As Moses was receiving the Word of God, the Law to convict them of sin and righteousness, their need for Him to save, rescue, redeem, set right... The children of Israel were brazenly dancing around a golden calf. An idol. Oh that we wouldn’t be numb to that word. The idol in this context was a golden calf that the people made as “an image of the God who brought us up out of Egypt”...a false image of the true God. Not something they had just entirely made up.When I doubt His character, have I not somehow left vestiges of that golden calf in my heart? Have I not twisted who He really is? If I truly knew Him, wouldn’t I trust Him?And so He lavishes compassion. He does not forsake me. He will never leave you or forsake you.As you step out into this yew season, “Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid or tremble at them, [whoever your “them” is...college professors, intimidating roommates, unorganized bosses, antagonistic classmates...] for the LORD [the covenant keeping, promise keeping, mighty God] your God is the One who goes with you. He will not fail you or forsake you.” (Deut 31:6)At the same time God’s beloved children were worshipping the golden calf, the inaccurate picture of the true God who had brought them out of Egypt, they were electing a leader to take them BACK to Egypt to slavery. Seems utterly nonsensical. Praise being freed while planning a return to slavery.Yet I can promise you, there will be times that going back to the known former life will seem quite attractive. Hilger is pretty nice. Mom doing your laundry, a luxury you don’t fully yet appreciate... In moving on, I’ve found “Freak out moments” are a regular part of my life. As each new season unfolds, I confidently take a step of faith into the unknown, only to have a monsoon of fear send me looking for a way back. Falling from the cliff, appendages flailing. Looking up at the air above me growing ever greater and the bottom under me growing ever closer. Looking for a way back to the known. A way back to comfort of what I knew...even if what I knew was slavery.All this betrays that I have lingering vestiges of thinking I must figure this out on my own. That I have to carry all the burdens by myself. That I can’t stop, and risk relinquishing myself to Him.“It is for freedom that Christ has set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery.” (Gal 5:1)I need to pause a moment and clarify because I’ve spoken of being in slavery and being at Hilger...and Hilger is not a land of slavery. But Egypt wasn’t originally the land of slavery. It was the land of God’s provision and protection and nourishment for His people. It was just time to move on. Imagine a 45 year old student at Hilger, it would be quite tragic.As the Lord invites you deeper into His story in each season of life, loose the clutches of the illusion of control and allow Him to carry you. Oh that we would not return to the predictability, the knowing, of the season before. When we allow Christ to catch us, He speaks strongly, “I made you and I will carry you!” (Isaiah 46:4)When I try to carry the load, it only leads to captivity. But when I allow Him to carry me, He delivers me! Delivers me into peace not based on circumstances.But from the season before, draw upon the memories of His faithfulness. Right here, right now, record the ways He has revealed Himself! Then actively recount His character made known, to strengthen you, remind you He can be trusted. That His glory is good.The Gospel of John promises, “If you know the truth, the truth will make you free.” This Truth, Jesus told us, we know by continuing in His Word. And this knowing isn’t merely the embedding of academic concepts in our minds, it’s the experiential deep conviction that comes from walking with Him.Walking with Him as He weaves His story of rest for the weary, unconditional love for the broken, freedom for the bound...knowing we’ve all been there ourselves. So let’s relinquish ourselves to His capable arms. Instead of informing Him of your plans, know Truth (through His Word, sown into your life), and abandon yourself to faithfully steward your life for His plans.And as you go, may you always have the security and peace of knowing where your true Home is. You’ll always have the relationships and places that represent those who love you dearly. But your true home is transcendent. Even as each day is full of epic elements, challenges to wrestle, you can remain full of peace, safety, trust…at ease.In a profound way, this new season can feel like being at home. It’s not that things will be known or comfortable, it’s not that you aren’t about to launch on an adventure of epic proportions…so much that you wake up wondering if it’s all a dream...It’s that it this new season can be very good. That innate sense of home that is found when we’re exactly where we’re supposed to be, walking with Him in the cool of the night, knowing that what He is doing is very good.This very good is only a shadow of what’s to come perfectly when we will know fully as we are fully known. When the groan of creation will be answered with final victory. But in the meantime, we rest in that shadow. While beginning a new season. While working jobs, paying bills, going to new schools, moving to new places, or even staying home but in new roles. At home in Him. While sojourning. Enjoying His glory & goodness. Relinquishing control you never had. Walking in freedom. Telling the story of rest for the weary, unconditional love for the broken, freedom for the bound.